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Love Category

How Do I Know If I’ve Found “The One”?

For most people, deciding who they will marry is the single most life-defining decision they will ever make. As Tim Urban points out in his blog post How To Pick Your Life Partner, “when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion...

How Do I “Define The Relationship”?

In high school, we were all pros at defining the relationship. If you liked someone, you would ask him/her “do you want to go out?” This sentence didn’t literally mean “do you want to go out on a date?” That would be too straightforward. If someone said “yes” to going out, then from that moment on, they were now your...

How Do I Talk To My Partner About Porn?

When it comes to important conversations to have with your partner, there are a few obvious topics to cover – money, family, religion and so on. But one topic you might not have considered (or may be avoiding) is pornography. It’s a topic that has almost certainly impacted your partner. One study of 15-29yr olds found that 100% of the...

When Should You Say “I Love You”?

The first time I said “I love you” to a girl, I was fourteen years old and it was over text message. I didn’t have a clue what the words meant. “I love you” just seemed like a good way to communicate the hormonal storm of warm, fuzzy feelings that I was experiencing. I definitely wasn’t talking about the love...

One Month Into Marriage

I’m a married man! Just over one month ago, Renée and I stood together at the front of a tiny Catholic church in Tauranga, New Zealand. We vowed to be faithful to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honour each other all the days of our lives.

5 Things No One Tells You About Being Engaged

147 days. That’s how long Renée and I are going to be engaged for. Less than 5 months, all up, but thank God it's not a day longer. It’s not that engagement is bad. For us, it’s been a time of sharing our lives in a deeper way and looking forward to our future together. But it’s no fairytale. Engagement...

So, You’re Struggling With Physical Boundaries

When Renée and I started dating, the most important conversation we had was about physical boundaries. We talked about our commitment to save the gift of sex for marriage and the boundaries we wanted to set around virtually every other expression of physical intimacy in our relationship.

Long-Distance Relationships: We Answer 6 Core Questions

For five out of the first six months that Renée and I were together, our relationship was long-distance. We lived 600km apart and only spent one weekend every month together in the same city. Long-distance relationships are tough.

What Matters To You, Matters To Me

When Renée and I lived in the UK, we did a lot of travel on budget airlines. There airlines were crazy cheap – you could often get a seat to Dublin, Paris or Rome for as little as $30. But the seats were randomly assigned. If Renée and I wanted to sit together, we had to pay an additional $10....